You'll Get Better
by FrostedOpal
Summary: Why Canada loves pancakes so much. (Warning: GerCan, cutting, and eating disorders. Rated T just in case)


"Mattie, you want to stay in a hotel tonight?" Ludwig asked Matthew as he turned the car on after seating Matthew in the passenger seat.

"S-sure, that would be lovely, thank you." Matthew spoke softly, brushing a strand of shoulder length golden blonde hair behind his ear.

Ludwig smiled at his boyfriend, before driving to a nearby hotel to crash in during the week. They had to stay in America for the World conference this week.

He eventually spotted a good, 4 star hotel near the building where they would have to go to for the Meeting of The World. He pulled over into the parking lot, parked, and turned the black Mercades off. He got out, closed his door, and went over to open Matthew's door.

Matthew smiled softly, before getting out of the car and finding himself in Ludwig's strong, protective arms. He smiled at him, his sparkling amethyst eyes looking into pale sapphire orbs. Ludwig grabbed their suitcases, having gotten their other bags already, and assorted them so he had all of their belongings.

"Ludwig, would you like me to help?" Matthew asked.

"It's alright Mattie, I don't need any help." He replied, strolling the suitcases with the bags stacked atop effortlessly.

As they reached the counter, Ludwig grabbed his wallet from his rear pocket and got a room for them to stay in for a week. He grabbed the keys they had given him, and they made their way to their hotel room.

They went up the elevator and into the room, numbered "620". He inserted the key into the slot, and opened the door for Matthew, who meekly walked in, feeling helpless as Ludwig carried their bags and various things into the room.

Matthew sat on the large bed in the middle of the room, fumbling with the sleeves on his favorite hoodie - the one with the Canadian flag on it. Ludwig, after storing their stuff into the closet, looked at his boyfriend in confusion.

"Mattie, you alright? You've been looking pretty pale lately."

"I-I'm fine..."

"Then why don't you take off that thick hoodie? It's a million degrees outside, and you're sweating."

"Ludwig, I'm fine, okay?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you say Mattie." He leaned in for a kiss, marinating his boyfriends lips in his sweet, yet salty taste.

They pulled away after a while to catch their breath.

"Time to get ready for bed, Mattie." He said. Matthew sighed.

Matthew took an unusually long amount of time in the bathroom, which worried Ludwig. He decided not to say anything about it, as he didn't want to get Matthew upset.

He finally came out, ignoring a worried look from Ludwig and getting into bed, still in his hoodie and oversized sweatpants. His socks and shoes were taken off.

"Matthew, you sure you're gonna sleep in that? It's hot in here." Ludwig told him.

"I'm fine, I told you that." Matthew muttered.

Ludwig sighed and got into the bed next to him after putting the "Do Not Disturb" thing on the door knob. After pulling the blanket over them both, Ludwig smiled, seeing Matthew cuddle his favorite teddy bear, whom he named Kumajirou. Germany ruffled Matthew's beautiful, shiny, golden locks of hair before giving him a passionate kiss.

"Night, Mattie. I love you."

"Je t'aime aussi." Matthew spoke softly, as he was close to falling asleep. He wrapped his arms around Germany's neck before putting his face into his chest and dozing off. Germany smiled, looking at his adorable Mattie before falling asleep as well.

When Ludwig woke up, it was 9:45 in the morning. Matthew was still asleep, and it would be another 15 minutes before he was awake. He was very gentle with him, to try to not wake him up, when he noticed his arm, that was wrapped in his thick hoodie. Curious, he softly pulled the sleeve up, and what he saw underneath tore his heart in half.

Matthew's arm was only skin and bone, with his arteries and veins popping out harshly. Not a sliver of fat was on his bone. He could clearly see the shape of his bone, one of the most horrifying things Ludwig ever saw besides Feliciano's dick. As he gently turned the thin, fragile arm around, his heart lept into his throat.

Scars seemed to be the only thing holding his wrists in place. Dried blood surrounded the cuts, plenty of them looking rather recent. Ludwig's eyes watered, looking at Matthew's arm. The only thing he could think of was, why?

As he just was rolling the hoodie sleeve down, Matthew woke up. He looked at Ludwig, horrified as he rolled down his sleeve.

"Show me what other secrets you've been hiding from me Matthew. Take that hoodie off." Ludwig said in a stern voice, Matthew shivering.

"N-no.."

"Then I'll make you." Ludwig pulled the hoodie off of Matthew, ignoring his pleas and cries of no, and tossed that hoodie on the ground. Matthew looked at him guiltily, showing himself without long sleeves on for the first time in forever.

Ludwig looked speechless at Matthew's skin and bones appearance. His ribs were clearly popping out, his stomach was pushed in, veins were visible, and the scarred tissue holding his broken skin barely shattered Ludwig. He traced a finger along his back.

He only felt bone and cuts.

"How long have you been doing this to yourself?" Ludwig said, his voice cracking.

"6 m-months..."

Ludwig grabbed Matthew and hugged him tight. "You need to stop. You're gonna die one day, and I don't wanna lose you too soon. Matthew, I fucking love you. I love you with all my heart. It's so selfish for you to want to die, you know that? You have Francis, Arthur, Alfred, me, Gilbert, and so many other people. If you shoot a bullet through your head, I will do the same. If you slit your throat, I will do the same. And starting from today, you will fucking eat." Ludwig told him, tears streaming down his face.

"I.. I can't.." Matthew said, tears streaming out of his violet eyes. "I'm tired of my life Ludwig. I want to end it.."

"You have so many people that love you Matthew, please remember how much I love you. We've been together for a year now, I will always protect you and stand by your side. Come on, let's go to a diner and get you something to eat, okay?" Ludwig looked at Matthew, stroking his long, beautiful golden blonde hair, a trait inherited from France.

"O-okay.." Matthew said in a quiet voice.

Ludwig helped Matthew get dressed, working gently with the thin, bony young adult. His stomach and all parts of his arms were littered with scars from cuts.

He dressed him so that nobody could see the bones, and they went to a restaurant. Ludwig ordered nothing for himself, just a large plate of pancakes.

"Luddy, don't you want something to eat?" Matthew whispered in a shy voice.

"I just want you to eat, don't worry about me. I can go without one meal, but you on the other hand need to start eating."

The pancakes soon arrived, Ludwig coating the thin, golden cakes in pure maple syrup. He cut the cakes for Matthew and, sticking his fork into a piece held it to Matthews mouth. "Say Ah." He told him as if he was 4.

Matthew hesitated at first, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he thought about how fattening the syrup was, let alone it combined with the pancakes. He eventually opened his mouth after seeing the pained and worried look on his boyfriends face and reluctantly ate the mapley, sweet mess.

He counted the number of times he chewed at first, but stopped when Ludwig pulled his hand down. "Don't think, just eat."

He eventually finished off the plate of pancakes, Ludwig smiled at him. "You did it." He said, a joyful expression on his pale German face.

Matthew's head was filled with thoughts of purging when Ludwig wasn't around, but after seeing Ludwig actually smile for once, he decided against it.

"Je t'aime." Matthew said.

"Ich liebe dich Mattie." Germany pulled him in for a kiss before placing the money on the table and leaving the restaurant.

That's why to this day, pancakes are Matthews favorite food. They remind him of the day he first saw his lover start to become more protective and watchful over Matthew.

He promised Ludwig to never cut or starve himself ever again.


End file.
